You never graduate from family:)

The Texas clan is coming up next week-end to celebrate Cousin Anna's graduation from college.  She is greatly admired by her younger cousins who have a few questions for her:  Do you want to get married with T?  What do you want your job to be, now that you are grown up? Are we going to see more of you, now that you don't have so many papers due?

Nobody can lob tough questions that land on the soft parts of your psyche like family.  My sister loves to tell the story, especially around my therapist friends, about the time I put her favorite stuffed animal, Grover, in the toilet and perched his little blue arms in a most welcoming position.  I am fairly certain it was in retribution for some heinous act on her part but sadly, that part of the narrative has been lost.  She has since asked me, repeatedly,   Why, why...why Grover?.  Did I mention some of the questions lobbed at you will have no easy answers?

So to the younger members of my clan, I give this advice in trying to answer our queries:
1.  Always remember that at the heart of even the most obtrusive question is the desire for connection.
2.  We took our turn at having to explain our lack of churchgoing ways to all the grandparents.  You all, in fact, are getting off rather easy.
3.  Some moments are so smooth and filled with optimism that you can't imagine needing anyone from your past but then you get dumped and you lose your job.  Sometimes you lose your way or your health.  Then, all of us asking with real love and compassion  Are you OK? helps you find your way home, even if you live 2000 miles away from your clan.  We will always help you find your way home.
4.  Answer the questions...sigh heavily and roll your eyes but answer the questions.  Every question my grandmothers asked me and every lecture my grandfathers gave me to keep me safe are precious to me now.
5.  Start lobbing a few back our way...we can take it:) 

We are all so very proud of you all!

Brimfield 2010

Another great day at Brimfield with good friends and a world of possibilities, if you just have vision: wouldn't the neighbors be thrilled to see a purple brontosaurus peeking over the fence? Wouldn't guests be pleased to sit in a chair made out of saws? Alas, my picks were a bit more mundane but I am thrilled with this piece of folk art:

Such a find....I love the antiques and the guys stoned in the back who give away collectibles at a fraction of their worth, but the real joy for me is to meet artists who are doing what they love and who refused to listen to anyone tell them they could not make art for a living. Support that seed where ever you find it trying to grow.

For the Moms

Here is a post a friend sent me....this woman is an amazing author and has a beautiful "voice"

More Progress

My husband does not dance, not even a little. He pretended to, when he was pitching woo but really, he would rather see how many beans he can stick up his nose.

Until now. Imagine my delight when our Daisy troop leader announced that the Girl Scouts were sponsoring a father/daughter dance. I could barely contain my excitement. Finally, he was going to receive an offer he could not refuse. Emma was beside herself with joy, because she does dance, more than a little. She asked him to please practice "his Elvis moves" and watched "Dancing with the Stars" to cop some dance sequences.

Finally the big night arrived. Scott appeared inscrutable and I began to worry, just a bit. Could he possibly turn his daughter down? I wished all parties involved the best of luck and headed out to soccer practice with my son. We got back first and waited for Fred and Ginger to arrive home. Emma burst through the door with this exclamation "Daddy is a great dancer...he twirled me up and around and we didn't fall once."

All these years I thought my husband could not/would not dance, it seems he was just holding out for the right partner.

Progress

This pic was snapped on my Iphone during one of the last times that my daughter and I had coffee and cookies at our local coffee house...LaLa Java. LaLa is no more in our town (they moved to a neighboring town but it is not the same as walking down). In it's place, a new super grocery store is going up, the concrete walls look quite sturdy.

So that is progress....a new something that already exists, in spades, and the demolition of something unique and neighborly. We would sit at our table, underneath the magnetic board and create poetry and talk about life. This is our last line in a place that meant something to us all.

Letter to my 18 Year old Self.....

Dear Kayla:

I have been watching the new PBS special "Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking" and I'm pretty sure that you might get this if you stand next to a wormhole.  I know you have a lot on your mind because you are graduating from high school and heading off to the University of Texas in the fall.  About that, be wary of all those guys who wear eyeliner, each and every one of them will do you wrong.  One will go on to direct pornography and one will be jealous of the amount of time you spend riding and will hire someone to steal your bike.

I would like to ask you to do a couple of things that will make our life easier on down the road.  You become addicted to extreme sports but never feel the urge to wear a helmet.  You wear this thing called a "hairnet" but it will not protect you one bit when you get hit by a car.....I don't want to give too much away but suffice it to say that we send Christmas cards to more than one neurologist.

It is going to be so very exciting for you when you leave home and hit Austin.  So exciting that you forget why you are in Austin, mainly to attend college.  There is much to explore but if you could take a couple of philosophy courses that would pave the way for some of the work we do later on.  It might be asking a lot to throw in a comparative religion course but you will thank me for that, I promise.

The universe throws some dear friends our way in college...enjoy the wit and compassion of Jenny and Mike, we are still traveling together.  Other friends and lovers drift back into time...be with them all as it makes up who we become.

You know, now that I think about it, you work hard, catch a few lucky breaks and end up here...filled with such compassion for yourself.  If we were not forbidden by the time/space continuum and maybe the prime directive (Scott thinks that has more to do with interfering with alien development, you will meet him later) I would buy you a cup of coffee.  You could show me a few dance moves I have forgotten and I could give you a jump start on meditating.

I think we are still watching out for each other and maybe, someday we will meet in the middle.

With much love and gratitude.

kd

I do so love my husband......

I think in the eddy that is marriage, sometimes you have to swim out of the water, dry off and ponder the beauty of your soulmate (from the shore). I was speaking with my husband's older sister yesterday and we had this conversation:

Sis: You do know that Scott drove everyone crazy when he was in the third grade (this topic came up as we were discussing how to keep my son engaged in the classroom, especially during science)
Me: This sounds like a story I need to hear
Sis: The story goes that his math teacher called mom and dad because he was failing his "Mad Math minutes"
Me: What are Mad Math Minutes?
Sis: You have a minute to do as many subtraction and addition problems as you can...Scott was bored with that so he multiplied each answer by three... not caring so much about what the test was supposed to measure...luckily, his teacher figured out what he was doing.

That, my friends, will tell you all you need to know about the beauty of my husband and also why I sometimes have to swim ashore.