Bite of mindfulness

It has been too hot to function in the Northeast so that has given us all an excuse to go off the res, or to go off the mat. Be careful out there on the edges.

I practice yoga on Tuesday nights with folks who have been namasting together for years. Our teacher takes no crap for a blissed out yogini so it is no use complaining about the heat. She does have seeds of compassion in her and told us to get off the mat and practice on the cool floor. The practice of yoga builds heat and as the night wore on, the floor became a welcome balm.

I have blogged at length about my complicated relationship with yoga and suffice it to say we continue our uneasy partnership. I feel after 15 years of doing a blessed forward bend, I should be able to touch the blessed floor, but god bless it, that is not the case. Often, my yoga teacher shakes her head sadly while she is watching me in a pose but we continue gamely on together. That night it felt good to make it through the heat to the pay off of shivasna.

The corpse pose. Not aptly named, as it turned out, because when a corpse is bitten by an ant she does not grab her back, let lose a stream of obscenities, and lunge for her yoga block to kill the murderous little vermin.

I will say this, I did not disturb my fellow practitioners. I quickly thought of Thich nhat Hanh's teachings about incorporating distractions into one's practice and letting them become a path to mindfulness.

The ant is no longer with us but I am grateful for his lesson, showing me how far I have to go. As for the heat, it can turn you into a cold blooded killer, right in the middle of reaching for something else.

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Summer Pensees

We are back from New Hampshire where we did not even remotely come close to killing anyone on a ridge hike. Promise.


I picked up a copy of Gary Snyder's book "The Practice of the Wild" which is worth reading. He writes in a gentle, but compelling way about the importance of remembering that the wild is the real world and all of our constructions have moved many of us out of balance. He also talks about the importance of place. We feel that when we are visiting our friends in New Hampshire and marvel at the previous generation's foresight in creating community for the folks who came after.

I am out of balance not because I have been out of the wild but because my ninja book club is reading "Infinite Jest".....I finished the 1400 pages plus tome and can say no more except that it was worth the time. Hurry up my ninja friends, I do have some thoughts about it. I will say this, he writes as authentically about addiction as I have read. Can I say that as a non addict but as someone who has done addiction counseling? That swings us over into literary relativism which I like to steer clear of so I will just move on to the next thought......

My son is attending camp with a lot of older kids. He is headed out tomorrow for 3 days and 2 nights for the first time. This growing up thing has some drawbacks. Day 1: "mom, this is torture, you know social situations are not my thing".
Day 2: "I think I will attend this camp each year until I go to college".

I am supposed to be working on a book, refinancing the house, and planning some kind of big celebration for our 50's. We might just sneak off to Holland.

Enjoy the flow of summer, when "the song sings itself".




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Tiny

Summer started this year with a whirlwind trip to Texas to celebrate Tiny's marriage to Dave.  Tiny is my sister who, unbeknownst to me, has been passing herself off as the tall one in the family while I have been trying to survive up in the Northeast.  At her outdoor celebration, 110 degrees and that is not even hyperbole, I passed on to 80 of her nearest/dearest friends that "Tiny" was her nickname growing up.  Although technically not the truth then, it is my truth now.
http://www.fingerpistol.com/
Check out Finger pistol's website and listen to the song "Still in Texas."  They posted a great picture of Kat and Dave and they absolutely kept the crowd from fainting from the heat with their amazing music.  My nephew, Isak, who is coming on up here to attend Berklee College of Music and my stepdad played beautiful sets as well.  I had a heat induced epiphany that night that Texas creates such amazing musicians because it is too damn hot to do anything else.

We head out tomorrow for our favorite summer get away with our dear friends Dave and Ruth who invite us up every year to New Hampshire.  We are beyond blessed with generous friends and loving family.  I was able to get away to Texas because Scott's sister took the kids for a couple of days.  Another aunt/uncle are taking them to the Cape in a couple of weeks.  Dad masterminded my surprise visit to Texas and I can honestly say that it is the first time in my life that both my mom and sister were speechless:)

So, as I compile my bucket list for the summer, I find myself just wanting to catch up with the community that I sometimes neglect in the chaos of the year.  I will see you soon.

And the beat goes on....

Today was a day of celebration and joy. The bear, along with many dear friends, celebrated graduating 4th grade. Some of the gals looked a little like wobbly colts in their first pair of high heels but you could see the women that they will become. Some of the boys opted for a more casual look with a tie and flip flops. I see them headed to Austin:)





I know she is ready for her next adventure, and I have the summer to catch up to her.

Bill

It seems like I was just writing about what an amazing woman Gert was. She passed away peacefully last summer. Bill could not remember that she was gone and grieved for her anew, every single day until June 9th, when he
died after sustaining a fall. His family had this to say about him in his eulogy:

In his final years Dad had no short term memory and couldn't connect events beyond about a minute. I have sometimes tried to imagine what it would be like to never know how you have gotten to the moment that you are currently in. More often I have just marveled at the qualities of outlook, trust in your fellow man, and confidence in yourself that would be required to face each new moment like this with the calm and happiness that Dad displayed. He kept these qualities until the end as he flashed us the thumbs up and hummed a happy song through the oxygen mask.
"You Are My Sunshine," was one of Dad’s favorite songs. Matt remembers being a young child and learning to sing this song with his Grandpa. While it was written as a lover’s song, so much of it could just as easily apply to Dad. He was the sunshine for all of us. And Mom was his sunshine.
Not only was Dad an amazing grandfather and father, he was a wonderful husband to Mom. He used to tell us about how he met Mom on the boat to Provincetown and every time he told the story he had a sparkle in his eye. You could feel the love they had for each other. Amy remembers him telling her that he still got butterflies in his stomach when Nana walked in the room. They were inseparable to the end, holding hands or smiling at each other. They were in love throughout their entire marriage. Dad would say things like "no wonder I fell in love with her." He would tell her she was the most beautiful person in the room. Dad always said he did not care what they did or where they went as long as he was with her. When Mom passed away Dad said he will "see her in his dreams." Now he is with her again.




Many of Scott's friends came to the wake. They all said the same thing: "he made me want to be as good a man as he was."

I say this: Bill, you taught your sons/daughter how to love and that is how revolutions begin. You were a warrior for peace and I will love and treasure you always. I truly hope you and Gert are locked in an eternal embrace.

A poem for Mother's Day by A.E. Stallings

Elegy

The finery of childhood--let them wear
It every day, in rain or shine. Don't lose
Your temper over patent leather shoes
Mud-puddle deep, or fret over Easter frocks,
Hand-smocked, that meet with chocolate or paint,
Let Sunday- best be mussed, new trousers tear,
Elbows of pure wool cardigans be rent
Let silken ribbons stray, mismatch lace socks,
Let grape juice stain. For Someday comes to call
And finds the garment now too tight, too small,
Outmoded, out of season, itchy, quaint,
Stored up in lavender and mothballs. Let
Joy sport it's raiment while still bright and loose,
Let what cannot be saved or spared be spent.
It's fitting: what is theirs is not your own,
The finery they did not spoil with use
That lies in drawers, unblemished and outgrown.
A.E. Stallings

Kindness Cowgirls

I don't post much about work because I shouldn't.  I work with wonderful kids, staff, and families but they certainly do not want their comings and goings posted and analyzed by me.  Still, today felt special and I know my partner won't mind if I post a picture from our Kindness Karnival.....I know, I know...we did the fake letter match thing:

(She is 9 months pregnant, by the way, and looks phenomenal).

Some of the kids we work with wanted to find a creative way to combat bullying and affirm the values of kindness and compassion we all need to hang onto.  Especially after the acts of violence that ripped through our state.

So, we held a Kindness Karnival today.  We laughed, and raced ducks, and walked the track for those neighbors who are struggling to get back on their feet in rehab right down the road.

It felt good to be a kindness cowgirl today.  Really good.