Lake Placid

I'm not sure what to say about the last couple of days that will not smack of hyperbole but I will start with THE BEST TWO DAYS EVER!

Luke was asked to train at Lake Placid in the classic winter sport of Badminton:)

We got to go along for the ride.  Yes, we were the only family who stayed overnight in the OTC (Olympic Training Center).  Yes, I was the only mom who got in the bobsled but his embarrassment was a small price to pay for THE BEST TWO DAYS EVER!

A huge shout out to Coach Chong for making this all happen and for his sang froid in dealing with my absolute giddiness:

Coach:  Was that you in the cardio room at 8:30 last night?
Me:  Yes, is it just for the athletes?
Coach:  No (Bit of a heavy pause), good for you

A certain someone who was indeed in the cardio room teared up looking at a signed picture of a luger from 1982.  You could feel the Olympic energy, I swear it!

Lake Placid is magical, and we went into hyper overdrive and saw the ski jump, ran, skated. bobsledded, and skeletoned.  Scott and Emma also fit in a bit of soccer.

I dropped out of college for a bit to see if I was good enough to make an Olympic cycling team.  Oh, I was not even close but I will never regret that dream.  This week, as we watched all athletes compete in Sochi, and visited the Olympic Museum in Lake Placid, and watched our bobsled driver smoke a butt....Magic, pure magic.

Go to Lake Placid if you get the chance.  It will remind you of your dreams and your age, all in the same second.  BEST TWO DAYS EVER:)

Snapshots from a snowy day

Another glorious snow day. Everyone home safely, three channels of Olympics and all the great poetry here: www.poetryfoundation.org. Maxine Kumin recently died who was best friends with Anne Sexton. She wrote this when Sexton committed suicide:

How it is

Shall I say how it is in your clothes?
A month after your death I wear your blue jacket.
The dog at the center of my life recognizes
you’ve come to visit, he’s ecstatic.
In the left pocket, a hole.
In the right, a parking ticket
delivered up last August on Bay State Road.
In my heart, a scatter like milkweed,
a flinging from the pods of the soul.
My skin presses your old outline.
It is hot and dry inside.

I think of the last day of your life,
old friend, how I would unwind it, paste
it together in a different collage,
back from the death car idling in the garage,
back up the stairs, your praying hands unlaced,
reassembling the bits of bread and tuna fish
into a ceremony of sandwich,
running the home movie backward to a space
we could be easy in, a kitchen place
with vodka and ice, our words like living meat.

Dear friend, you have excited crowds
with your example. They swell
like wine bags, straining at your seams.
I will be years gathering up our words,
fishing out letters, snapshots, stains,
leaning my ribs against this durable cloth
to put on the dumb blue blazer of your death.
--Maxine Kumin

I found in my husbands closet a pair of slippers that my grandmother knit for him. Her way of communicating was to make something for you. These slippers said welcome to the family. My husband has kept them all these years. He has an active way of communicating without words, as well.

My mom sent me beautiful tulips and irises for valentines day. They brighten up this snowy day. Things are good. A glorious,snow day.

Happy birthday love

We headed up to Vermont to celebrate Scott' s 50th.....or 32nd based on the number of things I was actually able to pull together for the birthday bag.


Conditions were a little icy on the mountain but our glasses were so fogged, we couldn't tell. And you know what? We kicked ass. Well, Scott did. I was trying to "be the snow". Turns out it is tricky to ski when you can't see. But 50 teaches you to flourish under less than optimal conditions. Happy birthday love!

It is so cold, it burns

I have the polar vortex blues.   I just finished a very long winded book about the futility of  time "The Magic Mountain" which certainly did not mitigate the existential angst.  Heart palpitations brought on by stress are not helping all the much, either.

What does one do to emerge from a philosophical funk?  I have opted to take on a more active role at church, including joining a covenant circle to get to know a few congregants more deeply.  I'm working hard to get the director of religious education ordained as a minister.  Apparently individual congregations can "call up" a member and ordain them.  It is like getting called up from the minors to the big game, except that congregations rarely do it....a Quixotic task always takes one out of oneself.

I'm going to try to go on a bobsled run in the near future and attempt to get my husband 50 things for his birthday.  So far, I have 27 and that is counting a six pack of beer as six things.  I have a new pair of black cowboy boots (thanks mom) that I am wearing every other day so New Englanders can  wonder if I am training for a rodeo in the near future.  I have added a new yoga class with another sassy older teacher who takes no yoga excuses....and hands me excessive amounts of props.

I continue to go to work, against all odds.  Nuff said.  

But most of all, I am trusting that when the light and the heat return, when the polar vortex is a cold, dark memory that my balance will be restored.  What the hell, polar vortex.  What the hell!

Dear Blog

Hey there, you are looking good.  Have you lost a few words?  No?  Listen,  I have been meaning to write but with the holidays and the kids birthdays, you know how it goes.  Yes, that's right, I usually do write about that during this time of year.  What?  No, I have not been writing with any other medium.

#LIAR!!!!!!

Listen, there is no need to go all Caps and get over excited with exclamation points.  I can explain Twitter.  Easily.  In fact, so easily.  And so quickly.  It's not you, it's me.

  Don't be like this.  I'm here now, right?  Droning on and on and making my circuitous points.  I hope there is room in my writing life for both you and Twitter.  In fact, I am starting to experience Twitter fatigue as I had to sort through many posts about the Golden Globes and which star flipped off which camera.

In the end, this is a letter of apology.  I am following pithy comedians, British football, Joyce Carol Oates, and the Huffington Post but I need more.  Although you feel a bit bloated and over wrought, you still give me the space I need to meander toward truth.

So I am back.  Short and sweet ain't always a feat.

Happy New Year!

Winter Solstice Poem (my actual favorite)

Each winter solstice, I put together a "Solstice Sack" to celebrate one of my favorite holidays and to remind all of us New Englanders that the light will return.

This year, my favorite poem didn't make the Sack, as it could be construed as a death poem and I don't want to make the kiddos cry:)  It was the best one, however:

Lines for Winter

Tell yourself

as it gets cold and gray falls from the air

that you will go on

walking, hearing

the same tune no matter where

 you find yourself--

inside the dome of dark

or under the cracking white

of the moon's gaze in a valley of snow.

Tonight as it gets cold

tell yourself

what you know which is nothing

but the tune your bones play

as you keep going. And you will be able

for once to lie down under the small fire

of winter stars.

And if it happens that you cannot

go on or turn back and you find yourself

where you will be at the end,

tell yourself

in that final flowing of cold through your limbs

that you love what you are.

                                                                        Mark Strand

Winter is a happy time up here in the North!

State of the Union

You know how presidents feel compelled to address the nation about the state of the union?  How far we have to go to achieve social justice, universal healthcare, and global warming?  I feel the same way about turning 50.  Compelled to share my wisdom, plead for unity in my house of representatives, and set a course for the next few years.  Turning 50 feels quite different than the other landmark years.  I have no urge to get a tattoo, move to Nepal, or take up paddle boarding.  I still may do all of those things but in a more peaceful manner.  Out with the wolf on the bicep, in with the OM mantra so I can still chant when I lose my memory.

It's nice to be past the mid-life crisis point and on to the spiritual crisis point in my trajectory.  My big move will not be to dye my hair, pierce some parts, and lose a few pounds.  My big move is to continue to move inward.  Talk less, judge less, care less.  Just realizing for the first time the connection between "careless" and "care less".  Pay attention to subtleties .  Luckily, I married well for that one.

Appreciate the mortality of my parents, and everyone.  It is all so fleeting.

I am proudest of my relationships.  My family.  My  friendships reflect well on me (for having the good sense to pick them).  The people in my life rock in all kinds of amazing ways.  They write and teach and solve equations and make music and art and history.  They protest and help those without much power.  They all have integrity and courage and that is how I have those things.  At 50 you know that you draw strength from people who put the shopping carriages back and do what they say they are going to do.  People who forgive and show compassion, even when it hurts one's own pride to do so.

At 50, I'm hanging on to the physical side of myself because I have young kids and because I want to keep moving forward.  I have learned that I can still run with the Navy ROTC guys for the first mile in a 5K and then I will nurse a groin injury for 2 months after that fleeting 7:45.  2 months and counting, actually.  Pace yourselves:)

These are the things I think my younger  friends need to find:  yoga, a supportive bra, a favorite poet, good pressed powder, a compassionate pediatrician (if applicable) and one good joke.  It just has to be funny to you.......I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned it all around.

So this is me at 50.  Proud of who I am, where I'm from and most of all....who I love.  Peace to you all!