Bless your heart

Well, some hell has broken loose as can only happen when parents get overly invested in their children's lives.  I try not to comment specifically on what other people do, as they should be writing about it themselves in their own blogs, so this is more philosophical musing:)

What is wrong with us?  We fire off emails when a teacher or a coach or a play date goes awry and forget that the way to slog through conflict is face to face, with a cold beer as the pay-off after the blustering and threats have subsided.  We seem to forget that our kids have to lose and struggle and then make up with each other without our interference.  Helicopter parenting?  How about I'm-in-the-bunker-with-you-and-I-know-you-are-constantly-under-fire-so-I-stand-ready-to-take-a-bullet-for-you-at-any-second parenting.  Not healthy for you, your child, your marriage, or your community. 

I don't like bullies or injustice because it reminds me of all the times I have been both.  I am currently reminding myself to hold onto compassion because the folks I am aggravated with, I'm going to be standing in line with at the grocery store tomorrow.  We will be on the soccer field together and at dance recitals.  Your kid will date my kid and I will trust you to call me when someone I love has had too much to drink and needs a ride home.  We have got to pace ourselves here.  Truly.

So in the end, I'm writing this to remind myself to hang onto the rules of civility.  If I can't say something nice, I need to text my buds and have them delete it within 48 hours.  I need to ask myself what HH the Dalai Lama would have to say about all this and then picture him forgiving the Chinese the occupation of  his country for the last 50 years.  I need to hear my grandmother's voice who used to shake her head and say "Bless her heart" when folks crossed a line. 

Bless your heart.  Those are words to live by.


**special shout out to Tracie who fights the good fight for those who are struggling day in/day out.  Your compassion for those who need it is inspirational.  May you find peace this week.