Saturday, March 6, 2010

Heart Matters

My neurologist was taken aback to learn of my climbing, skiing, etc and was quite clear that I should be doing none of those things. As I have slowed down, so has my heart rate. On a positive note, I think I am going to facilitate a group for folks who are recovering from PFO closures...I would like to call the group "heart matters." How do you support one another during recovery? What would the focus of the group be?

The thing is, when you hit the wall, whatever the wall might be, you need to talk to each other. For one thing, your friends, relatives, and blog readers get narrative fatigued. Don't get me wrong, you guys are hiding it well and have been nothing but supportive but there comes a time when you want to give your friends a break and talk to other people who have gone through voice some of the fears and frustrations that come with being a heart patient and with having to use common sense and moderation and all those things that you thought were waiting for you when you were 70, not 46.

We get to become who we are going to become now and we get to mourn the loss of invincibility now. There is a psychological shift that occurs that is profound....sometimes profoundly scary, sometimes profoundly hopeful. Today, with all the tests results showing no problems, I'm feeling profoundly grateful, yet again. It is hard to land on just feeling normal but I yearn for it. Those shifts are always worth talking about, if we can just carve out the time and the space to do it.

So, I hope the group pans neurologist seems excited at the idea of it and has asked me if I would be interested in facilitating honor to be asked, really. Time to give you guys a break from all the heart rate worries:)

1 comment:

  1. I understand the need to be able to talk to others who TRULY get what you are going through. At the same time, I can speak for myself in saying that I am not tired of hearing you talk about it and feel honored that you share your thoughts with me.