Thursday, July 26, 2012

Uncle Roy

My heart and energy and love are all directed to my husband and his family this week.  One week after his mother's funeral, Scott's brother Roy died unexpectedly of a heart attack.  Roy lived a quiet life in South Carolina with his partner, Kim and their dogs.  I knew him as a kind, quiet, and gentle presence in the Reitsma clan.  We will celebrate his life at a family memorial later in the summer.

Please hold Scott in your thoughts.  He is tough, grounded, and balanced but the hits keep coming.

I'm reduced to offering him juice, which he kindly accepts.  I'm also fielding a lot of questions from the kids about my health and the health of all family members.  We are all fine, by the way.

As my dear friend Suz told me "take small bites when you are eating a shit sandwich".  That is why you talk to friends when it all comes down....they will tell it like it is.

This too shall pass.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Scott's mom died last week in hospice, peacefully and surrounded by her family.  She had opted to stop chemo treatment for cancer and so I believe she also died on her own terms, having just spent a month out of the hospital with her husband of 63 years.  May we all be so lucky as to have the funeral that she had.  It was a celebration of her spirit and her legacy.  That dimple you see above is found in the exact same spot on my husband and on my daughter.  I think her intelligence is also amply represented in the clan.

I spent the week taking care of the food aspect of things (all of you who know me don't have to suppress your laughter) and so I'm just coming into the silence of missing her now.  She welcomed me into the family and represented New England stoicism at it's best.  I don't believe I ever heard her complain about anything.  She loved her family in a way that left no room for doubt.  She never judged our parenting and supported us quietly and without fail.  I can't write much more at the moment except to say that I hope I recognize her in her next life.  I would like to hear that laugh and see that twinkle in her eye again. 

Have a safe journey, nana