Friday, February 18, 2011

A few thoughts on Fractals before Winter Vacation

Who gets to define who we are?  I have become increasingly aware that it is not only ourselves, defining ourselves.  I know who I think I am and who I want to be but that is one fractal, really.  Don't get me started on fractals.  I can't tell you what they are exactly, but I think they may be the key to unifying some things.  They are actually geometric shapes that can be divided into infinity.  It is clear that I am over-identified with fractals because I feel that I can be divided into infinity.  Start thinking about where you started and where you are now. 

I started as a beloved daughter and granddaughter and now see my mother in my daughter and we divide.  Samsara.  Over and over again until we bust through.  I try and contemplate my divisions, throughout the ages but the noise in this time and moment blocks the longer view and a deeper understanding.  I sense it rippling under the surface but it is elusive and can only be touched upon in silence.  Of which I don't have access to lately.

So here is my stated intention for Winter Vacation:  Bone up on fractals so what I write about them makes a bit of sense.  Sit in silence.  Be damned grateful for all the lifetimes that have led me to this post in this moment at the beginning of a vacation.  What a gift.