Who gets to define who we are? I have become increasingly aware that it is not only ourselves, defining ourselves. I know who I think I am and who I want to be but that is one fractal, really. Don't get me started on fractals. I can't tell you what they are exactly, but I think they may be the key to unifying some things. They are actually geometric shapes that can be divided into infinity. It is clear that I am over-identified with fractals because I feel that I can be divided into infinity. Start thinking about where you started and where you are now.
I started as a beloved daughter and granddaughter and now see my mother in my daughter and we divide. Samsara. Over and over again until we bust through. I try and contemplate my divisions, throughout the ages but the noise in this time and moment blocks the longer view and a deeper understanding. I sense it rippling under the surface but it is elusive and can only be touched upon in silence. Of which I don't have access to lately.
So here is my stated intention for Winter Vacation: Bone up on fractals so what I write about them makes a bit of sense. Sit in silence. Be damned grateful for all the lifetimes that have led me to this post in this moment at the beginning of a vacation. What a gift.