My sister had a childhood friend who ended up sleeping with all of our boyfriends and some of our husbands but I digress.....she was a single mom who said "I just see extra work when it comes to birthdays and holidays." This morning when my husband told me his workmates had put together a Halloween extravaganza for the children of employees, I said, "Aren't they too old for that?"
Sometimes, in the whirl of life I forget how blessed I am that life is whirling. Bitterness sneaks up on the back of fatigue so I am headed out to yoga to knock it off.
My little red riding hood and Neo were not too old. It was me.
Do you want your kids to be happy or to be accomplished? People who are good at things have put in some pain time. And that brings me to yoga. I spent the bulk of last night, as I do most Tuesdays, trying not to cry or vomit. My teacher is not unduly hard but I am unduly broken. It is not relaxing or easy and I am not happy while doing it. Yet every Tuesday I go because I know that I have to try and undo some of what I have done to myself. I am trying to figure out where the drive to do hard, unpleasant things for a greater good comes from. How do we teach it? Can we teach it? I just know that we need to.....
I noticed today that I am not creating enough art. For the first time in many years, I did not make origami bats with some of my students. Never mind that nobody came down to guidance and said, "hey, where are all the cool origami bats"? To be balanced is to create...food, music, a line up a cliff, or an origami bat. Tonight, I am starting on Christmas gifts, while watching the Sox win the world series. Surely.