Sunday, October 16, 2011

You can't use your crossbow in the house

As a mom, you sometimes find yourselves saying things that perhaps have never been said before, by anyone at anytime in history.  Or that is how it feels when it is coming out of your mouth (see title).

Still, the trickier times are the ninja conversations.  These are the conversations that sneak up on you, pulverize you and melt back into the alley.  Today, on the way to church, we all read this billboard in front of the local Church of Christ:

God invented Sex, so follow his advice about it in the bible.

Son:  What does that sign mean Mom?
Me:  Well, that sign is saying that you should follow what the bible says about sex (trying to remember what the bible says about it that sex is bad?, that is not it exactly...oh, right, right, you shouldn't have any for quite some time....until you are married...I think that is it!!!!!!!)
Daughter:  What does the bible say about sex?
Me:  To the best of my recollection, the bible says that you should not have sex before you are married.
Son/Daughter:  That sounds good....what do you think mom?
Me: (Thank you Church of Christ, thank you so much)  The thing about sex is that your body is ready for it before your mind and soul are ready (where are these words coming after school special lodged in my psyche?)
Son:  I'm not ready, I haven't even seen the puberty film (coming up in his 5th grade health curriculum)
Daughter:  What is puberty?
Son:  It is a growth thing
Me:  It is not gross...I know your wigged about the puberty film but puberty is a natural thing, it is not gross
Son:  I said growth, not gross.
Daughter:  It is gross.

Ninja conversation, come on back...I'm going to do a little training.

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