Last week, I was walking in tall cotton, as they say in Texas...which means things were going pretty well. The health stuff has settled down until the next round of appointments and I have stopped looking anything up on the Internet; my kids are loving school, and life seemed not only manageable but joyful. This week, not so much.
It started so auspiciously. Monday was a perfect New England day. The leaves are turning but it was still 70. I decided to run along a trail that meanders by a river. 3 miles up, 3 miles back. Now, here is the first life lesson that I will never learn: overextend yourself and you will pay. I was in the best mood after my run, the endorphins were flowing, I passed a 70 year old long distance runner, and I got bragging rights to anyone I talked to that day. Cut to the next morning as I crawled to the shower. Why are my knees creaking to one another like ducks in mating season? Why am I the only one up at 5:30am? Why did I not pack any one's lunch the night before? I love my job, I love the students but I struggle with my 7:30am start time. We are all surly that early in the morning except for those who aren't and they are the ones you should watch out for, truly.
After work, I travelled to a local college to give a guest lecture on "families and disabilities". The students looked so young but earnest. They were not at all prepared for the ending of my talk....make peace with your perceptions of disabilities, old age, and anything that separates you from each other. Ultimately, we will all become disabled and then we will die. (was this perspective connected to my health issues or my run? Will I be asked back? Hard to say). Then, on to pick up the kids, drop them at home, make Mac and Cheese (yet again), say hello to the babysitter, give her instructions on getting youngest dressed for soccer pictures later that night, give husband instructions on what not to say to the teacher at open house that he has to attend because we are triple-booked, and charge over to my teeth-cleaning appt that I made 6 months ago. Guess what? The dentist office is locked up tight. I left a less than polite message on their answering machine, and drove back home to pick up youngest for soccer pictures. Who schedules pictures for 6 years old at 7:45 at night? I did not recover from Tuesday until today, Saturday. How are we making it ? My friend Lorette has a wonderful suggestion over at her blog http://moderngirl-lmc.blogspot.com/ (organized is as organized does) and she writes beautifully...take a look. We are making it because we see, hear, and laugh with our dear friends who are in the struggle with us. We are making it because we stop demanding so much of ourselves. We are making it because we forgive our husbands for the mornings when we are gone and our children go to school looking more appropriate for clown college. We are making it because we feel such compassion for one another. Finally, we are making it because we refuse to let go of what makes us who we are, even if it means we can't walk the next day.